Be Your Own Beloved — I’m Working On It

Comments 5 Standard

Deep down I know that loving myself is one of the most nurturing things I could possibly do for myself. Yet (oh, there’s always a yet), I find myself pulling back from the one person that I should be loving the most — me.

This isn’t new territory. I’ve tried to love myself at various points throughout my life but find that being a bitch is just so much easier. And believe me, I’m one baaaaad bitch to myself, too. I am, though, committed to changing that and really do want to love the person who I see in the mirror everyday.

How am I supposed to achieve this gigantic task?

I’ve tried affirmations.

I’ve tried leaving myself love notes.

I’ve tried looking at myself in the mirror and professing my love.

I’ve tried, I’ve tried, I’ve tried.

And you know what? I’m not done trying no matter how tired I am because I know that I’m worth this. (And I’ll let you in on a little something…so are YOU.)

So when I saw Be Your Own Beloved being offered once more I immediately thought to myself…

“I can’t do that.”

“I can’t be my OWN beloved.”

“I can’t take pictures of MYSELF everyday. No one wants to see that.”

And because I resisted so strongly, I decided to check in with my partner in crime and see if he thought it was a good idea.

He did.

I resisted even more.

And after tweeting with Viv and Kyeli, I decided to lean into the fear and do it anyway.

I’m three days in and so far it’s been painless and I’m starting to see myself just a wee bit differently.

It all started with taking the first step and putting a foot forward:

1441470_10201589482272554_577812618_n

Then it was all about sharing something that nourishes me, and let me tell you, nothing nourishes me quite like Wally Lamb and his words. I’ve currently got my nose in his newest novel We Are Water:

544110_10201595047251675_271291396_n

And today I was supposed to capture a bit of my playfulness. I said to my love “How am I supposed to do that? I’m never playful!” He looked at me, trying not to laugh and said that I’m playful the majority of the time. So, taking his word for it, I just sat myself down at my favorite cafe and snapped this one. I have to admit, I was actually feeling a little playful.

1385169_10201604219520976_2088347144_n

And I tip back my mug of Blue Eyes herbal tea and wonder to myself “What does it mean to be my own beloved?”

The truth is I’m not really sure yet, but I’m excited to be on the journey of finding out.

xoxo

P.S. If you are in the class, too, be sure to let me know so I can check out your photos everyday and cheer you on as you become your own beloved! :D

5 thoughts on “Be Your Own Beloved — I’m Working On It

  1. Love the selfies! I actually headed over to the site to check out this class and signed up! Just received the email prompts for the past few days so I need to get started taking some pics, LOL! Thanks for the hook up Woz!
    Blessings,

  2. The concept of self compassion may benefit you as it has helped me. Dr. Kristin Neff’s site is a good place to start. You can love and encourage yourself despite your imperfection as well as loving and encouraging others despite theirs.

  3. I’m not in the class this time, but I’ve taken it twice!! I am so so happy for you that your experiencing Be Your Own Beloved. It changed the way I see me inside and out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s